After our class analysis of love in terms of interdependent utility functions, it struck me that another aspect of romantic pursuit can be analyzed using economic methods. The friends to lovers trope is a classic one in the world of rom-coms. From Harry and Sally to Ross and Rachel, this problem has been explored extensively inTV and movies. When two people are friends who both secretly like each other, they are faced with a prisoner's dilemma. Both would be better off if they just told each other they liked each other and found out that their feelings were reciprocated. However, each person’s dominant strategy is to keep quiet about their feelings to avoid the utter embarrassment of finding out that their friend does not feel the same way or to avoid ruining the friendship. Therefore, there is a Pareto-inefficient dominant strategy equilibrium.
This prisoner's dilemma is what makes these shows so infuriating, yet entertaining to watch. The audience is agonized that the characters are not making the obvious Pareto improvements. Total utility would be much improved if these characters would just break out of this inefficiency and confess their feelings. However, without an enforcement mechanism, we the audience must often wait an entire season for a Pareto-efficient move to be made.
Warning: using economics to make love-related decisions may not always work out optimally
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